It's Spring, Do You Know Where Your Wallet Is?

I obviously don't. For the 2nd time, I've gone out to lunch on a nice warm day intending to spend a full hour out and about, enjoying the sun, doing errands, etc. But then it turns out that I've forgotten to bring my wallet with me!
I have a small wallet where I keep my cash and most-used cards. (See "what's in my wallet" details in this post.) It tends to be in my jacket pocket, and when I went out to lunch today, I didn't bother to bring my jacket! I did have my bag with me at least, in which I keep another small card holder which has a couple back-up credit cards and less-used things such as insurance cards and mini subway maps. I was at least able to buy my lunch with a credit card, but I couldn't do the errand I'd wanted to, as that involved filling prescriptions which were in the wallet I'd left behind.
It was annoying to have to use that alternate credit card-- I usually only use it when I order something from LL Bean, as it gets me free shipping. If I was going to charge lunch, I'd rather have done it on the card where I'm racking up frequent flyer miles. On the flip side, I now know that the favorite deli where I usually pay cash for my salad is happy to accept a credit card, so maybe I'll start using one on a regular basis!

Anyway, now that the weather is getting nicer, I'll have to make myself a little lunchtime checklist:
Sunglasses?
Water bottle? (so I don't have to buy a drink)
Bag with book, notebook and/or crossword puzzles?
Wallet??????

More on Dealing with Mom

This comment on yesterday's post really struck me:

do you think there's a way to do things differently, so you're not 'enabling' her self-sabotaging spending habits? I mean, we all can learn and change, no matter how old we are. Believing that it's just fine to spend an extra $100 - $250 so you have more time to get ready and put on makeup for a flight -- that's just not in tune with reality, especially in this economy.

This is very true. The idea of spending $200 to have time to put on makeup-- well, it's pretty terrible. Of course, it's a bit more complicated than that. I'm worried about my mom-- she is under such stress living with my father, and I think she is really suffering from anxiety and depression. My mother has always been a very cheery person, always trying to see the bright side of things, but she's been so subdued and distracted the last few times I've spoken to her. I think depression is why she is finding it so hard to drag herself out of bed in the morning, and if she still cares about how she looks, maybe that's kind of a good sign.

But I do think my mother would be happier if she could get a grip on her finances and gain a little independence. When is financial "tough love" appropriate? Am I enabling her? What is the right balance between trying to guide her towards more financially responsible habits and trying to just be supportive to someone who is having a rough time? And is there ever a time when it's just "too late?"

That is how I feel about my mother, that it's kind of too late: she's in her mid-60s, she spent almost her entire life taking care of her children and husband, and her own mother, and now her grandchildren too. She wanted to be a housewife and have a husband pay the bills, in the traditional mold. After a life like that, it's a bit of a raw deal to expect someone to suddenly be independent and take care of herself. She's not equipped for it-- it would be like setting a highly-bred toy poodle loose in the wilderness and expecting it to survive on its own. Of course people are not poodles, and my mother, like any human being, can sometimes have surprising resilience. But right now I think she's really worn down.

It always just makes me so sad that she and my dad can't just relax and enjoy this time of their life the way I see the parents of many of my friends doing. I can't help but wonder what went wrong. Where did the money go? Did my father make less money than we thought? Did he not invest what he had well enough? Did my mother really spend too much? Did my dad overspend on his own interests too? Did paying for my sister's and my college education do them in? Did their health problems have a financial impact? Did my parents' marital incompatibility make money just one weapon in their ongoing skirmishes?

I suppose the answer to all these questions could be yes. But how is that so different from other people? I thought my parents did a lot of things right. What did other people do right that they didn't? What can I do right that they didn't?

Additional Payments to Mortgage Principal

I pre-paid some of my mortgage principal last week-- unfortunately, I didn't do it on purpose!

My payment due March 1 was the first one with a new, higher escrow amount due to the ongoing tax abatement confusion. I entered all of this correctly in Quicken, but I forgot to change the auto-pay amount I have set up to go out of my checking account! I was looking at my account online and saw that the amount debited didn't match my Quicken records. I realized what had happened and immediately thought I'd better send another payment to make up the balance. So I sent the missing $370 by an immediate electronic payment.

Can you say "dumb and dumber?"

AFTER doing this, I logged onto the CitiMortgage website to look at the status of things. I'd never actually used their site before, so I enrolled right then. Nice site, easy to get all your info: it only took me seconds to discover that because the amount of my original payment didn't match my official amount due, and didn't arrive with a payment coupon in the mail designating how it was to be applied, they considered the whole thing to be an additional payment toward the principal, instead of applying it first to the interest, then principal, then tax escrow. And of course this is exactly what will happen with the additional $370 too! So in order to fix things, I went back to my checking account and sent a third payment for the exact amount that was originally due on my mortgage statement. Let's hope they know what to do with it this time!! And let's hope it's close enough to the due date that they don't charge me a late fee.

Oh well. I was lucky enough to have the cash on hand to pay extra on the mortgage this month. I'd been thinking I might not make any extra payments towards my principal just yet since my interest rate is pretty low vs. potential investment returns, and I'm still rebuilding my liquid savings after buying the condo. But I figured it would eventually be good to pre-pay a little here and there, as I really like the idea of paying less interest over the life of the loan. So I was really waffling about it. Isn't it nice when decisions are made for you, even when what makes the decision is your own stupidity???

Expensive Mistakes

Have you ever made an honest mistake, at work or in your personal life, that cost you or someone else a lot of money? At work today, something came up where due to a minor proofreading error, something happened that will cost someone at least $10-20,000 as far as I can tell. It's a little up in the air right now as to who has to eat this loss, and the people involved are, understandably, a bit anguished about it!
I'm glad I'm not in any way personally responsible for this mistake, because I'm sure I'd be giving myself an ulcer about it if I was! I'm not sure what I'd do if I was liable for something like that, where the money involved was so large in relation to my income and savings. If I was in someone's house and broke a vase or something, of course I'd offer to pay for it and unless it was some priceless antique vase, I could probably absorb the cost. And if I crashed their car presumably someone's insurance would cover it. I have homeowner's insurance that includes some liability coverage, but I think that is only for things that happen on the premises of my condo, not for stupid mistakes made elsewhere. Now I think I want to read my policy to check!
What would you do if you made an expensive mistake?

More on Laundry Pricing

I wish I was going to be reporting back to you all that I researched New York City law, wrote a letter to the owner of the drycleaning shop, and won a great victory in getting clean, pressed shirts for the same price as a man.

Sadly, this is instead a follow-up post that will detail my great stupidity and laziness.

I brought my shirts to work with me, and then took them with me again on my way home. When I got off the subway, I took a detour and went to a different drycleaning shop in my neighborhood to see if they did shirts. They didn't have any big signs about it in the window, but I could see the woman at the counter checking in a whole pile of shirts, so I walked in. I handed her my shirts, said they were to be laundered, no starch. She took them with a silent nod of acknowledgement and I thought, great! She's not going to hassle me! I gave her my info, took the printed-out ticket and left. Halfway home, I thought, gee, I didn't even check how much they charge to launder shirts, so I looked at the ticket. It turned out she had charged me $3 each, which must just be what they charge for drycleaning! And it was 50 cents more than what I was so incensed about paying at the other place! I felt like a complete dope, but I at that point, I wasn't about to go and ask for my shirts back.

There is a moral to this story, and it is that you must always ASK QUESTIONS! I'll bet I have lost a lot of money in my life just because I was too passive and accepting, and didn't take that extra step to ask why something wasn't cheaper, or how I could get it for less... or even just how much it was in the first place!

I do still plan to do some more shopping around for the best place to do my drycleaning and shirts... though perhaps as punishment for my stupidity I should force myself to iron for a while. Or change the title of this blog to "New York Dumbass's Open Wallet."