Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"Dating a Banker Anonymous"

Today's grossest story from the NY Times: It's the Economy, Girlfriend, which is about a support group for women who are dating investment bankers.

Dawn Spinner Davis, 26, a beauty writer, said the downward-trending graphs began to make sense when the man she married on Nov. 1, a 28-year-old private wealth manager, stopped playing golf, once his passion. “One of his best friends told me that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35,” Ms. Davis said. “It’s not what I signed up for.”

[She and other women] shared their sad stories the other night at an informal gathering of Dating a Banker Anonymous, a support group founded in November to help women cope with the inevitable relationship fallout from, say, the collapse of Lehman Brothers or the Dow’s shedding 777 points in a single day, as it did on Sept. 29.

In addition to meeting once or twice weekly for brunch or drinks at a bar or restaurant, the group has a blog, billed as “free from the scrutiny of feminists,” that invites women to join “if your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life.”

If you read the blog, you'll get the sense that this is all rather clever satire, but I wonder if the women attending these meetings really think so?

It's not that I don't sympathize on a certain level-- layoffs and a tough economy definitely put stress on relationships, and people in certain industries are much more likely to feel like they're next on the chopping block. But please-- "it's not what I signed up for?"

Gross. Gross, gross, gross.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't say it's gross. I would say it's pitiful, pathetic and selfish.

-Tasha

Miss M said...

What about the people who never had an account at Bergdorf's to begin with. Poor me stories from rich people always leave a bad taste in my mouth. I would hope such a group were simply satire, but I've seen enough of this in reality to know it probably exists.

MtnMama said...

So many relationships are in reality cold, calculated business arrangements, masquerading as “romance.” And yet our society says that legalizing prostitution is wrong. Mighty hypocritical, to me.

Fit Wallet said...

Ha, I just wrote my own post about this an hour ago. I find it pretty pathetic--though they would probably think I'm pathetic too, pinching pennies and trying to put my partner through school. Oh, the horror of a reality-based life!

Chiot's Run said...

I suppose their marriage vows didn't include the: "for richer and for poorer".

JACLYN said...

When that's all they've based their marriage on, it's going to kick them down much harder than an average lady. :P
It's amusing, I mean they're not starving or struggling, so I don't feel too bad.

Cents in the City said...

While it would be nice to have a bf or husband dropping $800 on Jimmy Choos and dinners at Mesa, it's not necessary. I would consider myself lucky to have such a generous man in my life, but I would not expect that no matter how much money he was making. I would not be ungrateful or upset if it went away. After a layoff I would also want to do things to help him out, cheer him, and assist him in landing a new job. I don't even consider myself a feminist and these women just disgust me.

frugal zeitgeist said...

I think this site is satire, but I'm sure there are plenty of women (and yes, men too) like that in real life. I suspect most of the bankers knew what they were getting into and were fine with the hottie/golddigger trade-off. I can't work up any sympathy for either partner in a relationship like that.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand how someone making so much dough would be forced to move to the MidWest because "times are tough". I mean, don't ya people save?

Bad Credit said...

That part really got to me too man. For better or worst right...its amazing how some stupid statements like these can really make a person look so damn selfish.

Anonymous said...

Slightly off topic, but when are you going to continue your matchmaking series? I'm newly single, and realize that one of the big downfalls of my last relationship was our differences in the philosophy of money.

Anonymous said...

These people are tough to have sympathy for, but then I never understood how so many young people could spend $5k on a night on the town either.

Chicago Rob said...

Those girls deserve any misery they get. They forget, there will always be someone younger and more attractive coming up behind them to steal their daddies. What goes around comes around. What a crappy way to live.

Living Almost Large said...

The guys and girls involved deserve what they got. They knew what they were getting into.