Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Young Gay Marriage, and Finances

A few Sundays ago, there was an article in the New York Times magazine about young gay male couples who are getting married in Massachusetts. Of course I honed in on this quote:

It was a blustery weekday morning in February when I tagged along with Marc and Vassili to pick up their marriage license at City Hall. Marc pulled the couple’s Honda Accord to a stop at a red light in the city’s South End neighborhood. Vassili sat in the passenger seat, sipping an ice coffee.
“We really wanted a BMW,” Marc explained, but they settled on the Honda as an exercise in premarriage fiscal responsibility. “It seemed like the right thing to do.”
“We did a budget the other day,” Vassili said. “That was really scary.”
“We definitely need to reel in our spending,” Marc told me. “We need to stop going out so often. I mean, we’re getting married today! We can’t be acting like little kids, running around and spending money everywhere.”
Regardless of the genders of the people involved, and regardless of the age at which you choose to tie the knot, finances always seem to be a big part of this important life event! But I found it interesting, in this case, that the couple saw their marriage as the reason to change their spending habits. They weren't planning any kind of expensive ceremony, but they had both been living with their parents and needed money to rent their own apartment. I guess a milestone like marriage is a reason to stop and think about these things, but there's no reason not to do it while you're still single! And not to sound all judgmental here, but I'd personally think it would make for a stronger marriage to have both parties begin it from a more financially stable position in life. True love waits!


Anonymous said...

I'm surprised they didn't realize this before they even discussed marriage. I guess some people still don't understand what topics needs to be addressed before marriage.

Anonymous said...

Most people believe, "love will conquer all." A romantic, but foolish notion.

Anonymous said...

As a counter-argument, I will say that being (very committed) with my boyfriend has definitely helped me act on my financial goals- I had the goals before, but he has helped me with the willpower to follow through on them. Being in a relationship where you both have the same ideals can make it much easier to act on them, especially if you make that commitment together.