Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Spending for Love

Does love make you spend money? I was thinking about this today as I returned from lunch with a bag full of largely unnecessary items. My Sweetie broke a glass measuring cup the other day, so I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to purchase a new one. While I was there, I remembered that Sweetie also wanted something for spraying on olive oil (theoretically, you end up using less than if you brush or pour it on, so it's supposed to be healthier). So I bought one of these, or something like it, for about $10. While I was at the register, I saw they had some little padlocks and since Sweetie just joined a gym and needs one, I bought one. I also managed to grab some of those little single-use packs of KrazyGlue, but that's for fixing my own broken watchband, not for Sweetie.

Sometimes it's just more fun to buy little everyday, non-occasion gifts for someone you love. If it was me who wanted the olive oil sprayer, I'd probably have thought about it a lot more, and perhaps experimented with some sort of cheapo spray bottle instead of buying this gimmicky one-- but since it was for Sweetie, I wasn't being that picky. Buying things for Sweetie activates my generosity, while in other situations, I feel very stingy. My usual rules of frugal, deliberative comparison shopping fly out the window when I'm shopping for sweetie, but when I'm shopping for myself, I tend to be very disciplined and often find it hard to commit to buying something.

Do you ever find your spending habits change when you're buying for a loved one?

9 comments:

T'Pol said...

Apparently you are not only spending more out of love but writing a lot less as well. I thought you stopped blogging for good. I am glad you didn't!

As a faithful follower, I was looking forward to reading how your mom is handling her finances, how you have been doing and etc. I think reading blogs for a long time made me selfish and very very nosy. I want to read "my" blogs on a daily basis. I get impatient waiting for new posts. A new type of psychological disorder I guess. May be they should name this after me:)

Hope all is well with you and with your loved ones.

Caitlin said...

ah yes...money and it's role in "the gift" :) On the one hand, I'd say "yes"...love makes me spend more...because I want to give, and give generously, to loved ones....and money is what we exchange (to purchase gifts mostly, but can also be seen as a symbol of gratitude at it's most sacred level). On the other hand, I can (and try...emphasis on TRY) to shift to seeing all money that i "spend" as a gift...as showing my gratitude for something, and in that I can expand my circle of loved ones...to the store owner, or the author, or restaurant staff. Love opens us up :) Money is an exchange...of energy...of gratitude..even of security...and I believe we seek to exchange when feeling love. I think it's all to easy to let frugality devolve into self-denial (I am not saying you do this, just see it everywhere) from good-old discernment and conservation...and may be one expression of our culture's difficulty loving the self. Good post!

Madame X said...

T'Pol-- I know, for some reason I've been finding it so hard to get back to blogging more frequently! But thanks for not giving up on me.

Caitlin-- you have nailed it, re. openness and giving...

infinite banking said...

my habits absolutely change when spending for a loved one...sometimes it's not good.

Anonymous said...

I find that the danger zone for me is "For a loved one" + "On Sale"!

Also, with interest rates being so miserable these days, I find myself saying thing like "This item is normally $20, on sale for $10. If I put $10 in the bank at 1%, I would have $10.10 after a year! Better to have the item that is worth $20 to me!"

scotttheorange said...

Well sure. Part of the mating dance is the ability for each to "provide" for the other. Granted he's not slamming down a freshly killed deer and you're not childbearing & rearing, but it's the same concept.

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Anonymous said...

I'm glad you are back at writing I missed you for sure. And yes in my case spending for a loved one is different than when I'm spending for myself. My weakness is buying for my son. I feel sometimes that I shouldn't spend so much on toys for him. But hey I tried to make it up somehow in other ways.

Cathy said...

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